The Lost Alliance (The Nihryst Book 3) Read online

  “Captain,” he said, reaching the wheel.

  Lee turned toward him, his usual smirk in place. “Your Majesty.”

  There was a time when Shane might’ve thought the title was an insult from the pirate. Now, however, he saw the respect in his eyes and something else he couldn’t quite place. “How are we looking?”

  “We’re on track,” he said. “The shores of Rayerna should be within view by the day after tomorrow.”

  Clapping the man on the shoulder, Shane thanked him then moved below decks as his heart pounded in his chest. Without their usual stores of supplies to deliver, the crew had cleared out a space for him to have his own cabin. He opened the door, grateful for a private room. Lanterns gently rocked from where they hung on the walls, and the sea level reached the middle of his round window.

  He stood at the small table bolted to the floor in the corner opposite his bunk. Looking down at the maps spilling out across the surface, as well as his ancestor’s journals from the previous war he’d thought to bring along, Shane rubbed the back of his neck. A headache throbbed along his temples. They were truly going to war. And no matter how many books and journals he read, he didn’t really know what to expect.

  A dark hopelessness encroached on his mind. His chest tightened, and he leaned forward with both hands on the table. Hanging his head low, he tried to control his breathing. None of his usual tricks worked though. There wasn’t anything distracting enough to take his mind off the impending doom, and his room was too small to pace. He pulled at his hair, feeling the world close in on him.

  Strong arms tugged him around.

  “Shane, look at me,” a commanding voice said.

  Hands went to either side of Shane’s face, forcing him to meet familiar hazel eyes.

  “Breathe.” Phillip came into focus, his voice turning gentle and soothing. “You’re fine. Just breathe.”

  Shane took a shaky breath. Then another. His eyes brimmed with tears, but Phillip wouldn’t let him turn away. Instead, he wrapped him in a tight embrace, one hand going to the back of Shane’s head to hold him against his shoulder.

  The heaviness gradually lightened from his chest, the tension easing from Shane’s body. Crossing his arms behind Phillip’s back, he whispered, “Thank you.”

  Phillip kissed the side of his head. “I’m always here.”

  “How did you know to come?” Shane loosened his hold and leaned away enough to see him.

  “I didn’t,” Phillip said, brushing a stray tear from Shane’s cheek. “It hasn’t been this bad in a while, has it?”

  Shane shook his head. He hadn’t had an episode like that in years, but they seemed to come more and more with everything happening of late. In truth, he thought he’d hidden the worst of it from his friend growing up. “I didn’t think you knew… I thought only Ada knew how bad it truly got.”

  “I’ve always known.” Phillip slid his hand down to rest over Shane’s heart. “You forget, I know you better than anyone besides her. You think I can’t tell when the smiles are fake? We’ve been friends since we could barely walk.”

  Shane nodded, knowing he was right. Except he’d argue that Phillip knew him better than his sister at this point.

  “When my father died, my mother struggled for years with melancholia,” Phillip said in a soft tone. “She hid it just as well, but not always. Behind closed doors, when she wasn’t crying, she would often just sit in his old chair, staring at the wall…”

  Shane slowly shook his head. “You never told me.”

  “I didn’t know how,” Phillip whispered. “I was barely holding things together, taking care of Carys while training, but I didn’t want to burden you.”

  “Phillip.” Shane put a hand against his cheek. “Please don’t ever hide from me.”

  Covering Shane’s hand with one of his own, Phillip said, “Only if you agree to come to me when it gets this bad. You’re not alone in this. Ever.”

  Letting out a breath, Shane pulled him in to kiss him once. “Promise. Did it get better for your mother?”

  He couldn’t imagine the caring woman going through the same terrible dread he often faced. If she did, she never showed it. But, then again, he tried not to either. People would question his ability to rule, especially after claiming his father unfit.

  “She still has bad days, but there are ways to help it—tonics she takes to clear the fog, to calm her nerves and let her sleep,” Phillip said. “When we return, let’s talk to Talia. I’m sure she will have something for you.”

  Shane smiled, wondering what he did to deserve such a wonderful person in his life. Never did he think he’d be with someone who genuinely loved him. He and Lady Saundra had been friends, but their betrothal was made for their kingdoms. They hadn’t loved each other romantically, and he’d barely hoped that they might grow to one day. This, what he had with Phillip, was more real than anything he’d ever experienced. He didn’t know how he went so long without seeing it.

  “So,” he started, wanting to change the subject, “if you weren’t coming down here to check on me, what were you doing?”

  At that, the corner of Phillip’s mouth tugged up. “I had other things in mind after your little tease on deck.”

  “Oh?” Shane raised a brow.

  “Mhmm.” Phillip stepped impossibly closer.

  “Well, I could use the distraction. Get me out of my own head.”

  Phillip chuckled and ran his fingers down one of Shane’s arms. He kissed his jaw, moving toward his ear. “Oh, I’ll get you out of more than that.”

  Before Shane could respond, Phillip reached around him and swept everything from the small table. He pushed Shane back, and the king lifted himself to sit on the edge. Shane grinned, loving the control Phillip took as their lips met once more. In those brief, stolen moments, he wasn’t the king. He was just a man falling in love with his best friend.

  Any doubts Shane might have once had fled from his mind. There was no fear as he made his silent choice. He would find a way to make this work. He’d go to the ends of the world for this man.

  Chapter 16

  Adalina

  Ada let out a soft moan as she savored one of the final sweet buns she’d brought on board. Prowling toward her, Lee met her eyes. Heat flared in her cheeks at the look of desire there. He reached her, taking the last little piece of bread from her hand.

  “If you keep making those noises, I’m going to sneak you back up to my cabin,” he said before eating the bit he’d stolen.

  She looked up at him with a mischievous grin and slowly licked her fingers clean. Laughing, he wrapped an arm around her back and pulled her against him. A few people lingered in the galley, but none paid them any mind in the darkened corner of the room.

  “So cruel,” he whispered before kissing her, no doubt tasting the sugar on her lips. Bracing herself against the wall, she raised up on her toes. Her fingers locked behind his neck just before they were interrupted.

  “Really?” Shane asked.

  Sighing, Ada lowered, and Lee turned to mumble, “Sorry.”

  Shane shook his head and walked toward a small group of people playing cards.

  “Having your brother on this trip is not as great as I’d imagined,” Lee said, seemingly not caring if Shane heard him. They’d had to watch their behavior at the castle, but the confinement of the ship was something else entirely. Even their cabin wasn’t private enough anymore as Shane seemed to make it his mission to interrupt any alone time they might have. He’d started barging in, making Ada overly cautious.

  It was only a few days, but with the prophecy fresh in her mind, she wanted to take advantage of their time together. Yet, whenever she got close to Lee, Shane appeared, acting like the overprotective parent-figure as always.

  “I know.” Ada rested her head against Lee. She hadn’t realized just how comfortable she’d become around him—how natural it was to get carried away because those boundaries had long since vanished. Missing their time t
ogether, she said, “I’ll talk to him.”

  Lee kissed her once more. “I’m going to go check in with Brienne, but we need to talk too. Meet me in our cabin when you’re done?”

  She nodded, smiling at his casual use of our. When he left, she straightened her sweater and moved across the room. Shane might be her older brother and the king, but he needed to know he couldn’t keep doing this.

  Nearing the table, she grabbed him by the arm. “Come with me.”

  He let her pull him to his feet then followed her up the stairs to the bow of the ship. The crisp air hit them, and Ada hugged her arms around herself. She turned to face him, but the accusation died on her lips as she took in the deep circles under his eyes.

  “Have you been sleeping?”

  Not answering her, he walked to the rail and leaned against it.

  “Shane.” She put a hand on his arm, guiding him to turn toward her.

  “It’s been a little difficult lately,” he whispered. When she nodded and looked away, understanding completely, he asked, “Ada, what happened?”

  Memories of the collapsing tower assaulted her. She closed her eyes but couldn’t rid herself of the images. She shuddered and kept quiet.

  “Ada, please. You’re scaring me.”

  Her hair blew across her face, and she tucked the strands behind her ear. “I’m fine.”

  “When did we start lying to one another?”

  She didn’t know what to say. For most of her life, she’d told her brother nearly everything. The few details she didn’t share with him—usually involving Michel—she told Phillip. But for months now, she felt as if she was on her own. Yes, she knew they’d do anything to help her, and they’d shown their support in all this, but she couldn’t bring herself to share with them with what was to come. Not when they’d gone through so much already. The two had always taken care of her. Now, it was time for her to take care of them.

  Instead of answering his question, she returned to the matter at hand—the reason she’d wanted to speak with him. “We need to talk about this need of yours to come between Lee and I any chance you get.”

  He scoffed and looked out toward the water.

  “I’m serious.”

  “Lee should learn to keep his hands to himself.”

  “I’m not a child, Shane.” Ada shifted uncomfortably. “He’s not the first man I’ve been with, you know. Michel and I…”

  He let out a long sigh, running a hand through his auburn hair before meeting her eyes. “I know.”

  She raised a brow, crossing her arms. Then, it dawned on her. “Phillip told you?”

  “I was concerned you two were getting… close. It’s not like you had a parent around to talk to about these things, but I didn’t know how to. Phillip confirmed you two were together, but he also reassured me you were taking precautions.” He winced, as if this was the last conversation he ever wanted to have. She didn’t blame him. When he turned toward her more, he mirrored her stance. “Look. It’s clear you and Lee love each other, and it makes me happy that you have found that. But do you have to go at it so out in the open?”

  She let out an incredulous laugh. “Are you serious? It doesn’t matter where we are when you keep barging in everywhere.”

  “Fine, I will stop…” He paused. “But he hurt you, Ada. I don’t want to see you go through that again. You may be an adult now, but you’ll always be my little sister.”

  Those words pierced her heart in so many ways. Breaking the curse and ending all this would end in the death of one of them, according to the prophecy painted on those crumbled walls, and she would not let it be him. Which meant either she really would always be his young sister, never aging, or he’d lose her forever.

  Shane must have seen something in her expression because he wrapped her up in his arms. “Please just tell me what’s going on.”

  “I know how to break the curse,” Ada said in a hushed tone, unable to stop herself. He was her big brother, her protector through life. She wanted him to make this better, even though she knew it was impossible.

  “What? How?”

  She shook her head against his chest. “I can’t tell you… But I know it’s going to take both of us—” Her words cut off with a choking noise. Leaning back and wiping away a stray tear, she cleared her throat. “I know what needs to be done.”

  Shane put a hand on her cheek. “Together, then. We’ll finish this once and for all.”

  “I’m scared.” She hated admitting fear, but he was right. Her entire life, she’d gone to her brother when frightened. This was no different. She might not be able to tell him the exact reasons, but she could let him comfort her like he always had. He draped an arm around her as they turned to look toward the back of the ship.

  “You know,” Shane said, “being out at sea used to terrify you. Now, I can hardly get you to stay home.”

  Ada let out a soft chuckle, brushing away the remaining tears. It still scared her, but she also loved it. She loved the adventure, the friends it brought her.

  He squeezed her shoulder. “You are the bravest person I know, Adalina. Whatever is coming, you will face it and figure out a way through it, just as you always do.”

  Nodding, she excused herself as Phillip approached. She needed to talk to the only other person that knew the full extent of the prophecy and curse. Because the thought of her death didn’t scare her as much as it had before. No, she’d already sacrificed herself once and would do it again if it meant saving the people she loved.

  What worried her most was her brother discovering the truth and taking her place. She didn’t know if Shane sacrificing himself would hold or if he’d become immortal too, but she wasn’t willing to find out. Only with the enchanted blade could she undo all of this.

  Shane had called her brave, but when it came down to it, she hoped she had the courage to do what she must. She would use Ddadwneud to take down Michel.

  And then, she would turn it on herself to set Loxley free.

  Chapter 17

  Phillip

  “We’ll reach Rayerna tomorrow,” Phillip said, moving to stand beside Shane at the rail. “We’ll see its shores by the morning.”

  Shane nodded but didn’t take his eyes from the water. Above them, the sky turned gray, mirroring the mood Phillip saw too often in his best friend. When he’d found Shane in the small cabin below yesterday… it scared Phillip to see him so lost—so unreachable.

  He placed a hand over Shane’s.

  He’d feared being seen together for over a month now, but he was tired of fighting it. Especially here among their friends. For years, he’d wanted this. It didn’t make sense to hide it.

  But letting people know, made it real. And if it was real, he could get hurt.

  “I love you,” Shane whispered.

  Phillip’s eyes snapped up, his mouth dropping open as he stared at the king in shock. They’d been together mere weeks. His own feelings had been building for years—he had no doubts about them. He’d loved Shane for as long as he could remember. To hear the words said back to him nearly brought tears to his eyes.

  “We go to war tomorrow.” Shane turned to face Phillip. “There’s no way of knowing how much time we might have left, and I don’t want to go into all this with you doubting my feelings.”

  “Shane… I don’t—”

  “I love you,” Shane repeated, cutting him off. “I know it’s only been a few weeks, and I know there is still so much to figure out, but I want this. Completely. One hundred percent.”

  Warmth spread through Phillip, and he thought his heart might actually burst. He never imagined he’d hear such words from the person who meant the most to him in his world. For years, he’d kept his love a secret. Only Ada suspected, but she knew not to bring it up. The few times she had, he’d denied it. Until recently. Seeing her open up with Lee gave him the courage to admit it to her.

  He hadn’t planned to ever let Shane know.

  In all honesty, he wondere
d where they’d be right now if Gwyn hadn’t blurted out the reason behind Phillip’s jealousy to the king. Though he gave her grief for it, Phillip was eternally grateful. He’d thought he was bound to a life of solitude. Sure, there had been other men here and there, but as a distraction only. The only one he ever truly wanted, in every sense of the word, stood beside him now.

  Shane took a step closer, raising a hand to his cheek, and Phillip leaned into the touch.

  “Marry me?”

  Phillip let out a breath that sounded somewhere between a gasp and a laugh. “What?”

  Grinning, Shane repeated, “Marry me, Phillip.”

  He shook his head, his eyes tearing up. Never in his wildest dreams did he think they’d ever have that kind of relationship. Never had he thought he’d have the kind of happiness and love he once saw in his own parents. “Shane, we can’t—I—you… You’re the king.”

  “I am so sick of people telling me that.” Shane shoved a hand through his hair. “If I’m the king, I should be able to marry whomever I want.”

  “That’s not how it works,” Phillip said in a hushed tone, but he knew Shane didn’t care if the entire crew heard him.

  “Do you love me?” Shane asked.

  Phillip’s shoulders dropped as he took a step forward. “I have loved you my entire life.”

  “And if I weren’t the king?”

  Taking a deep breath, Phillip shook his head again. There wouldn’t be any debate if that was the case. “I wouldn’t even hesitate.”

  Shane’s smile began spreading. “You’re not afraid people will know about you, just what they’ll think because of who I am?”

  He’d never cared that he was in love with another man. Many of the soldiers knew his preferences—some even shared them. A couple had even shared his bed before he became Captain. That was never the issue.

  But the king? People would question everything Phillip had worked so hard for—they’d question his integrity and place as their leader.